kaelen will never learn....

ah when it comes to the masterful art of massage i am still learning the, uh etiquette...mainly re: the fact that i am paying for it therefore should be able to request any changes that might actually make it more comfortable and relaxing, no? for all those who dont remember the body works incident circa 2001, the short of the long is that lydia and i ended up naked in a bath together...so much for relaxing!! we shoulda asked for seperate rooms then, and yesterday at our neighborhood PLEO, i shoulda asked for a new masseuse......


PLEO is right across the street from our house and its five US dollars for a full body massage. jon and mel go there all the time, and while its cheap and clean, the people that work there are as slow as cement ( sorry, but its kinda funny how they really have no CLUE what is going on) example A. mel and i go in for foot massages and there are like five of them that stand there and stare at us for a few minutes before ushering us upstairs to the beds. we stood awkwardly waiting for about ten minutes while they moved around a pillow...no joke. one would put the pillow on one bed, and then another would come and move it to another bed. then they would talk about it. then they would move it to the other end of the bed. then they would talk about it. so this went on for a while ( mind you, there are only two beds even available, but they managed to musical-chair that pillow for a good ten minutes.

so at this point there are three girls and one guy standing around us and they appear to be deciding who is going "to do" who. so of course i get the guy. literally this guy looked like someone had called in sick so they grabbed him off the street to 'stand in' because he had, well, hands! so they point at me and as mel later described, his face got all goofy and pervy looking...yeah. so i kinda notice and im like, er, is that guy going to rub my legs for an hour???? sure enough he follows me into the room and im like oh crap. but you know, he is a professional, no? NO he most certainly was not. he basically just watched what melissas woman was doing and copied her. but with too much oil and no pressure. it wias like a make shift rub down if i ever had one!!! so for an hour im like, uh, he is just grinning at me the whole time and im trying to relzx here....

so an hour later mel and i are paying and he starts asking me questsion- with the same weirdo look on his face- like a half grin with cross eyes! mel is oddly quiet and we finally get the hell out and as soon as we walk out the door i say " damn that guy was creepsauce" and mel bursts out laughing and almost pee's herself! she said from the second she saw his face when they 'assigned' him to me that she couldnt control herself. she said she couldnt look at him or me the whole time because she was was dying. so i didnt imagine it. i pait to have an oily rubdown by a very eager balinese stranger! we laughed about it all day - mel said she still couldnt beliee that i didnt do something about it but what was i supposed to do after it took the 25 minutes to figure it out if i had thrown another wrench in there it woulda been impossible! i really wish i had a picture of him.. massage in bali- 5 dollars. extra half hour- 3 dollars. creepy man making googly eyes at you as he massages? priceless....