lessons in, well, not quite sure what?!

ok so i guess a little bit of the story may reflect my need to work on my patience skills, however, for the most part it is a lesson to myself to 'just say no' when i know im not into it!!
the scenario- saturday morning, er, well i suppose it was more afternoon by the time we had all assembled in the living room of my house. mel, jas, emilie, james the english couch surfer and the german (ugh). We were going to head up to ubud for the earth day festival, with promises of djs and bands and other such exciting things! now, these plans had been assembled the day before, when we were full of life and energy! but then friday night happened, and with the adequate amount of long island ice teas and a late night trip to double six, that said energy and life were fully drained out by 3 pm on saturday! so this is the moment- the one where you look b ack on going, dang-er, i shoulda done something different right about HERE! i was moving slowly and not at all ready for the adventurous outing of the day and did in fact say, nah i dont think im going to come, in not ready, yada yada yada. everyone chimes in with the collective ' ah no you have to come- so fun- be great- come with- blah blah' and buckling with indecision under the peer pressure, i say ok.
fast forward to being on the bikes somewhere near sanur- at this point im relatively positive that i shoulda stayed home. reason being- groups....its been almost seven full months since i moved away from LA. a lot has changed. one major thing for me is that i am no longer part of a 'group' of friends. while i miss my friends incredibly and i think about them every day, i have loved every minute of my growing independence. yeah sometimes its lonely, but i seriously love being on my own as far as plans and things. i can float from each little group of friends and be completely on my own agenda. its really worked for me and i have felt myself grow to be more like the person i want to be- which is independent and non-reliant and completely ok with being on my own. so- now that our group has grown to seven bikes i dont think i need to poitn out that things become difficult right about now....
decision making in a group is almost impossible. everyone has one thing or another they have to do and the collective can virtually never agree on things. needless to say this trip was no different. on top of that we had a nomadic sized group of bikes, all trying to follow eachother through saturday afternoon traffic (imagine the 405 in LA at 6 pm on a Friday, then take away all rules, laws, and signage and you will know what its like!!) so of course we lost someone. the german. of course. dont get me started on the german. im going to skip detailing the rest of this arduous journey mostly cus its boring and annoying and i think you get the point!! oh but do note im riding on the back of someones bike- not the most comfortable place to sit your ass for going on two hours! ever had your complete pelvic area fall asleep and go numb?? yeah- its weird!!!
moving on- after a search mission for this festival we finally make it ( funny part, turns out it was literally next door to the house of one of the girls we were with...due to poor group communication this was not discovered until way too late and while funny now was a 'grrrrrr' moment at the time!!!

at the festival-because i dont want to gripe and that is not the correct emotion for the way i was feeling, i wont detail much about the festival. i will say that it was pretty much what i was expecting in the sense that i knew i wouldnt want to be there. but hey- i was in great company and in that situation it is easy to make do! i think the problem was more that i was exhausted from the get go, wiped from the drive and now sitting on the grass, well, er, waiting. not a biggie at the time- wish the bands had been a bit more diverse but they were not bad. five hours later....still sitting, still waiting. this is part where i asked my gaurdian angel for some patience, only because i was now under the fully stifling crush of realizing that i was no longer free or independent, as i was in ubud at the mercy of those with bikes. again- not that it was bad or anything, it just at this moment (thank you murphys law-- nothing good going on for days then as soon as im unavailable its like plans galore!!!) there were other things i would rather be doing. as time wore on, and our troops' moral were dropping off one by one i was busy telling myself that i would just have to go with the flow and when we left is when we left. no point in obesssing over it. i know- easy, but not so much. i decided to call a friend to distract my mind away from eating itself with anticipation and twenty minutes into a great conversation i looked up, and walah! the group was mobilizing!! once i let it go it happened on its own!! of course if only it was that easy.....

the rest of the story is just cause for laughter at this point- i was just happy to be on the go and so these other things slid off my back! a) jas's bike was stalling, the one i was on the back of, so i had to go with this other girl who happened to have the most uncomfrtable seat in the history of seats. no prob right? ass numbage? no biggie- im happy now! b) we lose the group...who cares right? lets just go!!! c) we are supposed to make a pit stop to pick up someones bike, another delay- but hey! still smiling! d) mel and emilie txt saying they have gotten a flat tire and lost the whole group (none of them are people who actually live in bali and therefore have no idea where they are goin!!) ah well..... what can we do?
end of the day- we make it back to seminyak with news that mel and emilie have found a mechanic, the rest have made it to legian and i shoot off the bike into a cab and head home! fifteen minutes later im off on my own again- wow breathing room:) ended up having a good night to which the timing turned out perfectly!!!

lessons: be patient, let things go at their own pace, do what you want, not because someone else says you should! make my own decisions, and stay away from groups!! nah not really- groups are fun too:) but i will revel in my independence while i have it!