Fun Facts of the Make shift life!

just a few things that make living here just that much more interesting:

*blackouts* yes they happened in the states too- when its really hot and they do those rolling black outs. here though- when your power goes out because its too hot, you are thereby surredering to just turning into a wet rag of sweat, especially in my hot box of a room. not only is it already like sleeping in a sauna, but my one meager fan clicked off this morning and that powering down sound followed by utter silence warned me that i would not be sleeping anymore! oh yeah- and it makes our water pump go off so there was no shower to be had before coming to work this morning! so im sweaty, my hair is dirty and i had to brush my teeth standing over the kitchen sink!!

oh yeah- and i noticed on the drive to work that the traffic lights go out when there is no power...no generators.....so the 'every man for themselves' driving mentality becomes even more of a hazard! eh traffic lights are overrated i suppose:)

*australians* the aussies are a constant presence here, as well as a constant source of amusement to us. they are like their own species of stupid its great! dont get me wrong- i do have some sort of magnetic draw toward them but sometimes you just cannot help but drop your jaw with incredulity at their own ignorance- and i thought americans were bad!

so we invented a game- the BINSIN game. BINSIN stands for bintang singlet (the aussie uniform is a bintang singlet with board shorts and a strip of material from the bounty hotel tied around their head, or arm or leg, etc. anywhere they can tie these things they do and then they parade around the streets buying tubes of ephedrine that look like packs of gum from the motorbike taxi drivers slash drug dealers! so the game is, before you go into a bar, every one guesses how many binsins will be inside. the winner is whoever is closest. you get extra points here and there- for example, predicting and seeing a girl in a binsin is extra, and if you manage to site the 'hanger' then you get double. the 'hanger' is more rare, however they can be spotted- its those shameless creatures who buy their binsin too big, intentionally, so that the arm sleeves hang down low proudly displaying their man boobs. its a gauruntee that they have man boobs if indeed wearing this shirt- the hot ones dont partake in this cultural slur.

my favorite quote from my very cute but hopelessly ignorant aussie friend: we are walking to dinner and he is like, all excited, "wow they are selling bottles of absolute over there on the street for 6000 (60 cents)!!!" i look behind me, to see what he is all giddy about. Me: "uhhhh yeah no that is petrol." amazing. althogh i should probably give him a break on this one- its probably only in bali that they siphon petrol into old alcohol bottles and sell it on the street for 60 cents...

crisis avertede

figured out the photo problem and my boss with the electronically gifted hands has seemingly fixed my phone. he is the yin to my yang:)

Even in paradise it rains!

Still rainy season here- which means at least once a day torrential downpour carries on for hours, flooding all the streets and making our house smell like a sewer (any of my followers a plumber-by-night and know why this might be???) everyday there is a downpour, or after mel and i shower, our bathrooms smell like serious sewer-ness. last night melissa was so bad that i walked in and gagged- without even making it through the door frame. it was so bad we had to disturb linda and have her come up to witness the foulness. for someone who likes the smell of durian to be physically repulsed by a smell should describe the level of rankness. apparently people have been out to the house to figure out what it is but instead of fixing it they put like a layer of cement over the wall that leaks and say its fixed. yeah its not. any ideas?

so we all have these rain panchos that we put on when it starts to rain when your driving. so when i got back mel was like hey i bought you a present- a new pancho! and i said- hmm that is nice but i already have one?! and she said - not anymore....with alittle further investiagtion it came to light that someone had ripped hers, so she stole mine and bought me a new one when i came back. so ok thats nice! then i take it out of the packet the first time to wear it and there is a rip like 8 inches up the front- so all the way home from carrefour my pancho was flapping around me like wings and i got home all wet down my front!! premium poncho my ass.....i continued wearing what has come to be known as 'flaps' out of my niceness and refusal to force melissa into returning mine until two days ago, on the drive to our surf lesson, in the pouring rain, flaps up and ripped all the way up the front and off of me! so right this second im watching black clouds roll in and cursing melissa and flaps....

on a more positive note ( the new theme of the blog!) i had lunch at the roti place- yes we found an authentic roti canai place! and they also have teh tarik! before lunch i met jon at a gas station, where we gave our passports to a lady who is going to illegally restamp us in so we dont have to leave when our visas expire. best part-- this is an illegal activity yet we met in the open and public gas station where she took our passports and then we asked how long until we get them b ack. she replied one week- 7 working days, as they are very busy....um, this is so corrupt and illegal yet you are 'so busy' that you have minimum wait times? so ridiculous this place is:)

i dont think i ever put up the pictures of my house.....ok here they are:)
update. my blog is not working not letting me put any images on here an my phone just stopped working. today might be the day i need to be put on suicide watch......

where have i been??

SO i have not totally abandoned the blog and my four followers....i just really hadnt felt too inspired the last few weeks and really had no idea what to write. but too many funny things happened this last week so its back to the blog:) plus, inspired by jon's tutorial on the secrets to success, i have decided that i am only going to put positive energy out, and am going to visualize and believe fully in what i want, and it will happen. so im going to use the blog as my way of putting all the good things out there into the universe, so nothing negative will be allowed on here!!!!

speaking of visualization-- yeseterday jon and i finally made out way to kuta beach and had a surf lesson with our friend rizal! yes- amongst the trash ( seriously so bad sometimes you were stepping fully on a sandy bottm covered in trash!! the bags would get stuck to you and i pulled several unidentified objects out of my hair and bathing suit!! but we braved it anyways ( and the rain that threatened to scare us out of the water!) but no- we stayed in for two hours and both were like pros by the end:) haha well obviously not- but we were both standing up and getting it and it was so much fun! very exhilerating....veeeerrry sore today though:) but so worth it!! we are going to go again tomorrow i think- its about 3 dollars to rent a board for an hour so i think its worth it- gotta get good! the best part was that we did the lesson from about 4 30 to 6 30 so we were out in the water for the first part of the sunset and it was really incredible!

funny story: the other night after a late one, I decided to take a motor bike taxi home from kuta- basically these guys in orange vests will drive you anywhere for like a dollar. so i took one home and the guy is chatting to me all the way blah blah.... we are almost back to my house and im thinking of my bed and how comfy its going to be and then all of a sudden THWAAP!!!!!! a flipping bird has just slammed into my mouth!! im not kidding- i saw it coming and there was no where to go- it bashed me in the mouth, while we were going like thirty km/hr!!!!!! so then the guy is laughing and im screaming and almost crying and the whole way he is like no its good luck its good luck....i told him that this was the second time this had happened to me and i really didnt think there was anything good about it....yes, i think most of you know my story abouit the bird hitting me in the face on my bike in california so yeah. you think they get out of your way. im here as living proof that they dont!!!!! anyway i had a fat lip from it that thank god didnt last overnight and i actually had forgotten it happened until about 6 pm that night driving by the spot where it did and all of a sudden it came back to me and i was laughing so hard on my bike! ok enough for now! im uploading pics and will write more stuff soon....

return to paradise?

well its been four days since I have been back in Bali and i have not been to the beach once!! its rainy season and they are joking- right now we are in the middle of some crazy storm that has lasted all week and tomorrow then winds are supposed to get up 50 km'/hour! the streets flood in a matter of minutes and SUVs are in windwo deep water! so we have been living in our ponchos- i have the shittiest poncho on the planet! while given to me with love from melissa, the truth is she lost/ripped hers and 'borrowed' mine so she bought me a new one. only the new one came with a giant rip right down the center and so there i was flying down sunset with my pancho flapping like wings to my side and getting soaked all down my middle! i also dont have a helmet with my visor so everywhere i go i roll up with a dripping wet face and my hair is needless to say, a fro.
the worst part of the driving in the rain thing is that the streets flood and you cannot see whats under the water- aka GIANT pot holes and ditches and rocks that you suddenly find yourself crash over/into. yeah. on top of that the traffic has become reminiscent of HelLA because people just want to get wher ethey are going so badly that they disregard any semblence of rules that there might have been in place....
Last few days i have defied the rain to try and get things set up- today its knocked me into submission though- i just cannot be bothered being wet all day again! but on monday i had a job interview for this clothing company called ayya- its a web based store and everything is designedand produced here in bali. the job was for a customer service rep= someone to handle client relations through email and skype and also track packages, keep administrative records, etc. pretty simple stufff. but i ended up spending about two hours with the owner of the company and things went really well. he said they were thinking of creating more of a marketing/sales position out of it and are working out a way to incorporate some more responsibilities and to work out a decent pay. so he emailed me monday night saying he would let me know today , once he and his partner ' put the puzzle together'! so crossing fingers....

i also set up my room and got things all unpacked and settled. camera battery is charging right now so i can put up some pics. yes i swear. ;)

my birthday is in april but i know what i want....

so last night i decided on something- i know what i want for my birthday. and its totally ridiculous and only one of you can give it to me( by you i mean one of the like four people left who read my blog...which consists of mostly family members or close enough and therefre are the only people who feel inclined to actually GIVE me presents!!) so. basically i have noticeed a trend- when i am far far away from my computer, nowhere near my trusty keyboard and the outlet that is this blog, for example, in taxis on my way to clarke quay, or waiting in line at the pharmacy, i have these close-to-genious thoughts in my head. i mean i think about what iw ould write at that moment if i were in fact at my computer and seriosuly- its like pure gold;) haha no really, i have this constant inner monologue- so intricate and well versed that sometimes i wonder if in fact i might be in a truman show like situation and people are watching my dramedy of a life and listening to my monologe as the shot zooms into a close up on my pensive face staring into the sunset! and messed up as it is i take some sort of pleasure in the fact that somone might be watching- its better then thinking no one can even see you...
anyways- digression- what i need is one of those hand held recorder things- that i can keep in purse and whip out in my moments of genious clarity, to speak into it and be able to write down the things later...yes i realize the risk of looking like an out of place 50's sleuth reporter but hey, it will all be worth it when i get to unload all of my wildy funny and wickedly witty observations onto this blog:)
i realize you will all be clamouring to purchase said item for me- please consult each other and decie who gets the honor of making all my dreams come true;)

lastly- im headed back to bali in t minus four hours. the excitment is litrally almost sickening!!!!!! so for all three of yous sake, im happy to report that this blog will hopefull become substantially more exciting and upbeat:) first things on the agenda- job interview tommorrow ( more details later, im trying nto focus all the universes attention on making that happen so dont want to curse it:) and new tattoo..i seem to like marking my arivals with skin art!

Do Over!

Ok so the last few weeks this blog has been a mess of , well, i dont know! its been a little too personal, a little to depressing and perhaps not nearly as interesting as the past few months! i think i have come to the conclusion that leaving bali for five weeks was not a wise choice!! while i had a blast with my family in whislter and was really happy to see my friends in LA, i think my mind was not ready for it all- it was a lot and i think that some of the things i was dealing with were not so much 'dealt with', rather repressed to the darkest parts of my mind, which received little to no attention while i was in bali! so then everything kinda crept up on me and the next thing i knew it was like i was back to september, when i thought things in my life were the worst they had ever been! and i didnt deal with it very well, im afraid, but the more i think about it i supose that stuff was also an important part of 'leaving m life behind'. because at some point, everythig you leave behind will creep up on you and no matter how much you try to say that you have moved on and things are better, its impossible not to aknowledge what you have in fact left behind. plus at the same time i realized that i was counting a lot on other people to secure my happiness and was notreally doing much in the way of my own healing. because as soon as those things/people went away, i felt crushed again by the overwhelming weight of everything. but the last few weeks were a test- one that i cant say if i failed or passed- i can only say that i learned that i was relying too much on others and that i was repressing not confronting. this time i want to do it diffeently. the last few months in bali for me represented a time of freedom, of rediscovering myself and of calming my shaky nerves into realizing that in fact life always does go on and time really heals everything. but no im ready to move on in a different way. i want to build myself a new life, not just escaping the old one. i have a lot of stuff to decide and a lot of things in myself that i must confront, so i know the next few months for me will be different then the last few, but i guess its all part of the process when you leave it all behind. at some point you have to pick up the pieces and rebuild the puzzle into something new- learning from the past and knowing how tochange the future.
i also have to admit that i have been a suffering baby the last few weeks and was unable to realize the gift that i have been given. it took my a comment from my grandma last night to really shock me back into realization. when my mom said to her on the phone that i was sitting with her drinking wine and watching american idol my grandma said "well i just hope that i die and come back as kaelen cus that girl is everywhere!!" really made me laugh to think that while one grandma thinks i am some sort of reject because im not married and cannot fathom to understand why i would possibly want to live oversseas and GASP potentially end up with a 'foreigner' , the other is hoping that the karma brings her back as me!! hahah ME?!!! but then last night it was all i could think about- how many people do get the chance to start over, a DO- over as they call it. i cannot change the past, i made decisions and choices and they have changed the course of my life in a way that i could never have imagined a year ago, when the fear of possibility was crippling to me. when i think about this summer, and what is was that drove me to my breaking point and pushed me mindlessly through the picking up and starting over, i realize that many of the things i was hoping to happen, did. and while some of them didnt exactly turn out the way i had hoped, at least i tried and that is important. i do have to say i wish i wasnt turning 26 this year and was not approaching the impending doom that is 30, but again, i dont think i would ever go back to being 21 if it meant i had to sacrifice all i have learned these last five years. if i was 21 again i wouldnt have the capacity to handle any of this!!

so here's to my do- over. heres to making decisions (anyone who knows me knows i dont even like to decide what to eat for breakfast!!)heres to sticking to them. heres to not beating myself over things that i cannot control and to actively trying to change those that i can. heres to knowing how fragile every day is and that once its over, the best way to fall asleep is to know you wouldnt have done it any differently;)